MooPig's Blog: Vegan/Raw/Vegetarian Info

Letter From A Vegan To Their Meat Eating Lovers
September 30, 2010, 11:34 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is fake and just for fun…however true 🙂

Dear My Meat Eating Lover,

I am so happy that we have began this relationship. I am excited for the journeys that we will go on together and the fun that we will have! Before we begin though, I must warn you that I am not a normal individual. Please read through the following statements to determine if I am truly a match for you.

Consider yourself warned that as a vegan I…

  1. I will have a crazy amount of energy. Sometimes you will want to kick me for this. Even though I have a lot of energy, I will still sleep like a baby.

  2. I will never get sick. So if you like “taking care of me” please take up a job as a volunteer nurse. You will sometimes think I am inhuman because of this.

  3. Remember in elementary school when you stood folders up surrounding your paper so no one would cheat off of you? Please bring them to the dinner table if you plan on eating meat.

  4. I will talk to my animals as if they were one of my own children. Live with it.

  5. I will age well almost like Edward Cullen. This can be good for you in the long run since many will think you scored a young, hot, mama.

  6. My farts will smell like grass and I may have many of them.

  7. As a result of the phytochemicals that I will often ingest, I will heal from any injuries extremely fast. This may also make you think I am inhuman.

  8. I will run circles around your butt if you ever decide to work out with me.

  9. Lets never schedule joint check ups at the Doctor. No matter how cute that is…you will leave feeling miserable about your health and I will leave feeling like a cocky jerk.

  10. I will never get fat. Ever…and I mean NEVER. Keep that in mind.

  11. And I will live longer than you. Simply said.

If you still want to carry out this relationship, please give me a call. If not, I am sure there are some chubby, wrinkly, lazy meat eaters out there for you to have fun with. I wish you all the best and hope that you are still awake by the end of this letter.

Love Always,

Your Vegan Lover


1 Comment so far
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This made me smile so much. Thank you. Good job.

Comment by Jesse

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